Problems problems problems.
Have you ever heard a line manager say something like ‘don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions’?
Taking this to a personal level, amongst all the noise, finding the solution can be quite hard. Perhaps it needs a bit of a brainstorm?
Brainstorming is sometimes a funny concept. A bunch of people with different perspectives, different agendas and different strengths of personality are thrown together to come up with a single, unified objective. What happens? One or two stronger-minded members unwittingly railroad the meeting with their ideas or agenda and/or the more placid do an Elsa and let it go. Then everyone nods at the plan before returning to their own worlds and completing it the way they had intended in the first place, possibly picking off a few ideas mentioned in the room.
There’s a great phrase in the NLP world: The map is not the territory. For example, my son and I might stand at the top of a hill and take in the view, breathe the air and sit in silence and listen to the world around us. We’re in the same place and everything around us is the same. Yet what we see, hear, feel, smell and taste will be completely different. Have you ever been mocked by a friend or relative when they see something that is extremely obvious to them, but you can’t see it? Or there’s a sound, a bird chirping perhaps, that you instinctively notice, yet the person you are with has to really concentrate to hear?
Your map is different to mine. Moreover, your map is different to everyone else’s. So, when we get into that room to brainstorm, we all have the same question yet what we see, hear and feel about that question could be very different.
This is good, right? Of course, it is. Because if everyone was the same life would be pretty dull. And very weird. Yet with everyone having their own map can also mean the occasional moment of isolation. The times when it feels like everyone else is on the same page – or racing to the end of the book while we’re still on the prologue.
It is times such as these that putting ones hand up and saying, ‘I’ve got a bit of a problem and don’t have a solution’ can be hard. Everyone else seems so busy, happy, wrapped up in their own shizzle. And by not seeming to have our sh!t together today might be viewed negatively by others.
Years ago, I got a job with a company that specialised in loans for people with poor credit. In some ways it enabled those who desperately needed money a way of keeping moving. It also meant high interest rates – not quite Wonga but a precursor to that style. On a training day the MD was going through applications. He picked one up, read it out and sniffed it before saying ‘that’s the smell of money’. His map and my map were very different. I saw (or smelled) a desperate person needing money to keep going. The MD saw (or smelled) the interest rate. Or did he? My interpretation – my map – viewed him as being delighted in making profit by making the poor poorer. Maybe he was doing it to provide money to people who needed it in the only way he knew, and he was creating jobs with a business? Either way I didn’t last there as my own values – my map – couldn’t handle it.
Looking back, my shizzle wasn’t together at that point. I was a bit lost at the time and it took a little soul-searching to re-establish my groove. I’ve since learned that it is OK to have a bit of uncertainty or a ‘wobble’ because finding those answers isn’t easy on one’s own.
Rather than keeping to yourself here’s a few ideas to consider for individuals and the workplace:
1. Understand your triggers.
If you start feeling a bit off form, then flag it early. By letting someone close know – HR, colleague, line manager, friend, family – can relieve some of the stress. They can also check in on you and be understanding. I’ve written more about this in another article, ‘Being Driven Bleating Mad?’.
2. Get in control of your anxiety.
When anxiety hits our primitive brain can take control, fogging our logical brain. There are techniques you can master to bring your logical brain back into control.
3. Have an inclusive team and workplace.
Create an environment where individuals feel they can raise their hand. A little encouragement for people to push aside their macho attitudes or British stiff-upper-lip and take time to look around to notice when others aren’t running on all cylinders. Regular catch ups by a team to discuss moments of anxiety are no bad thing. It can be difficult to put up one’s hand at the time however, like all repetition, if these sessions happen consistently, things come more naturally. A few minutes during a regular meeting could make all the difference to a person.
If you are unable to speak out or find someone to discuss your concerns with then speak to a coach. Coaches, especially those accredited in NLP, can work on limiting beliefs, stress, anxiety and direction. Likewise, a workplace can benefit hugely from a coach coming in periodically to offer an open door for anyone who may need one.
To end with the shameless plug – WithOutLimit.co.uk is the home to all my free content as well as downloadable self-help for a variety of wellness initiatives.
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PS. A couple of priests were brainstorming ideas of how to get more women involved with the church. They had a few ideas, but Nun stood out.
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